Sgt Byrd's weekend
by MalleoGurl
Summary: Byrd receives a short and sweet letter from Agent 9. He already hates this guy's guts (or at least he thinks he does) and decides to pay the monkey a nice little visit. Let's just say, things don't go as planned. I might continue this, if anyone wants. If not, then the hell with ya.


_Author's note: Yeah, really sorry that this kind of sucks, but I figured I'd write a Sgt. Byrd x Agent 9 fanfic since I actually ship them. But at least try to enjoy it, haha. By the way, they may seem a little OOC since I suck so bad at understanding their personalities. _

* * *

As a normal morning, Sgt. Byrd enjoyed a cup of coffee and looking out the window.

Of course, no trouble. Because he had ridded of the Sorceress. Or... Spyro did. Byrd sighed.

Before Spyro showed, he use to be the hero of the Forgotten Realms. He then shook his

head. _No. I am not going to let jealousy get the best of me. _It was the weekend and the

Sargent had it all off, including Monday. He insisted to work on Monday, but for some reason,

none of the hummingbirds would allow it. Apparently he was an _over achiever _and a _work-a-_

_holic._ Byrd giggled at the names. He got up and stretched. He felt like he was a complete

mess, probably because he hadn't gotten to his morning shower. Byrd still decided to go out

and grab the mail. He looked around to see if anyone was watching. He hated going outside

without a shower. Even without at least brushing his hair. Well, the 3 little orange hairs on his

head. The base was quiet still, which worried Byrd. _Shouldn't they be up by now? I may _

_not have to work, but they still do!_ _I worked hard for this three day weekend, I'm not about_

_to have a bunch of slackers-_ Byrd then stopped his train of thought. He couldn't just go

assume the hummingbirds were slacking and then get angry about it! He didn't even know

if they were or not! Byrd growled at himself. _I'm such an idiot. I need to stop getting so angry_

_all the time. _He decided to hurry back inside before someone caught him with nothing but his

dark green robe on and no helmet. He placed the mail onto the table. He was right, the

hummingbirds were 10 minutes late for getting up. But he decided to cut them some slack

and hop into the shower. If they weren't up by the time he got out, then there was going to

be some trouble. Byrd stood in the shower, not really in touch with reality. He stood still,

mindlessly thinking while the hot water poured down on him.

Thinking about his break up with Isabella, Spyro, and _god_, that psychotic space

monkey. What a stuck up fool he was. Always bragging about his laser blaster, and shaming

Byrd's BAM rocket launchers! They were 10x better than that crap laser pistol. Who cared if

his ammo didn't ricochet like his stupid laser bullets? They weren't suppose to, they're highly

explosive missles! Byrd shook his head. There he goes, getting angry without thinking. He

finished up his shower, then got out. He dried his feathers off, placed his helmet on and his

utility belt. He only ever put his rocket launchers on if he was working, but today he wasn't.

He opened the bathroom door, only to still hear quietness. He began to get hot, his blood

boiling with anger. He went into a circuliar room with all the dorm doors facing the center of

the room. He had stolen a pot and pan from the kitchen, and began beating them together.

"GET UP, YOU LAZY BUMS!"

He screamed. All hummingbirds quickly whipped their doors open and stood still.

"What's the matter with you all?! You were suppose to get up and hour ago!" Byrd yelled.

"Sorry, Sir," Byrd turned his head and looked at Cpl. Gabrielle. "I guess I've over slept." She

said with a french accent. "...Don't do it again." Byrd snapped, before leaving the

hummingbirds. He went back into his room to look at the mail. Most of it was junk, the

newspaper, and then a letter. Byrd blinked. It was from Agent 9. He opened the envelope

and unfolded the paper.

_"I like you"_

That's all that was written. He looked to the back to find out if he was joking or not.

He looked all over the paper, but found nothing. Nothing, but that 3 word statement. Sgt.

Byrd rolled his eyes. He was obviously kidding. He had nothing to do for today, so he decided

pay that pshyco a visit. _This'll teach him to mess with me. You may of been dumped by that _

_kangaroo girl, but don't think you'll prank me. _Byrd thought as he arrived at the lab. He

knocked on the door, only to be greeted by Professor.

"Hello, Sgt. Byrd." Professor greeted with a smile. "Hello, Professor... Is Agent 9 here?" Byrd

asked politely. "Hmm... No, sorry. He went to Enchanted Towers. I think he was going skate

boarding or something." "Fair enough. Thank you."

Byrd grinned at the thought of his fins wrapped around that monkey's neck. He even

laughed. As he landed, he made his way to the park. He looked around, seeing a couple kids.

There was Hunter and Spyro, but Agent 9 was no where to be seen. He went towards them,

giving them a smile.

"Hey, bird brains." Spyro greeted. Byrd narrowed his eyes. "Cute. Have you seen Agent 9?"

"Him? Yeah, he's around here somewhere." Just as Hunter said that, Agent 9 crashed into a

wall beside the three. "Ow ow ow!" Agent 9 cried. "Oh, get up you baby." Spyro snapped.

"Blah, blah-" Agent 9 froze when his eyes landed on Byrd. "...Blah..." He quietly finished his

sentence, glaring at the penguin. "What are you looking at, moron." Sgt. Byrd shot at him. The

monkey stepped back. "And if you ever pull another prank on me again, I'm going to CHOKE

you! Do you hear me?!"

"What are you talking about, what prank?"

Agent 9 was confused. "This!" Byrd took the letter out of his belt, handing it to him. Agent 9

read it, then blushed. "Look, can we talk about this... Say, somewhere more private?"

Agent 9's voice squeaked with nervousness. Byrd grew impatient. Spyro and Hunter smirked,

looking at each other. "What is it?" Spyro asked. "See for yourself." Byrd was about to toss

him the folded up paper, before Agent 9 snatched it back.

"Woah woah woah, uh... Let's keep this between us, huh, James? I mean- Sarge?"

Agent 9 coughed uncomfortably. Sgt. Byrd rolled his eyes. "Uh... Follow me..."

The monkey said as he walked away. Byrd followed behind, looking back at Hunter and Spyro.

They went back to their usual stupidiness. The bird noticed Agent 9's tail wagging frantically.

A sign of either stress or nervousness. Maybe he was serious. Maybe he actually did have

feelings for him. Byrd gulpled. That meant all the more awkwardness for this conversation.

He stopped. "You know... Ha, forget this stupid letter, huh? All water under the bridge, what

do you say champ?"

Agent 9 only frowned. "Huh? Look, quit being a chicken. You're the one who wanted to talk

about it." He snapped. Sgt. Byrd's fake smile quickly evaporated. "Besides. We're here

anyway." Byrd looked around. He hadn't been paying attention to where they were walking.

He didn't even notice that he had crawled into a small space which led to a cave.

"What is this place?" Byrd asked. "Weren't you paying attention to where we were going?

Probably not. You always zone out, and yet you're a sargent? What kind of sargent are you

anyway?" Agent 9 mocked. Byrd groaned. "Just tell me where we are."

"We're still at Enchanted Towers. If you were paying attention, you would've noticed that I

built a tunnel underground!"

"You're not suppose to do that." Sgt. Byrd shot. "Yeah? What're you going to do about it,

Mr. High and mighty?" Agent 9 sat down, leaning against the cave's wall. He placed his

flashlight into a candle holder. "Pretty nifty, huh?"

"No. I hope you get caught." Byrd smirked, crossing his arms. "Yeah? And I hope that dumb

fairy turns out to be a murder and kills you." Was he talking about Isabella? "Shut up."

"Make me." Byrd was about to strangle him, but he held himself back. "So... Obviously you

hate me, so what's the letter all about?" Agent 9 cocked his head. "Hate you? I don't hate

you." "Yeah, well I hate you, so get on with it." Sgt. Byrd sat down on the oppisite side

from him. "Oh, now Mr. High and mighty wants to hurt my feewings." Agent 9 pretended to

pout. "Shut up." "How about you shut up?"

"You're the one who talks 24/7."

"Oh please. I'm soooo sad. You're just breaking my heart with these stupid insults!" Agent 9

pretended to cry. "Do you love me or not?!" Byrd then shot. Agent 9 froze.

"Love? Don't flatter yourself. I wrote it in a friendly way. I like you as a friend. I want to be

your _friend._" Agent 9 said. "Don't give me that crap. You acted all nervous back there."

"Ha. You caught me. I like you. You're cool." Agent 9 crossed his arms and smirked. Byrd

couldn't tell if he was joking or not. "Be serious."

"Yes, Sarge. I _like _you."

Byrd giggled. "Seriously?" "Seriously." The penguin couldn't help but feel

uncomfortable. "Well, I hate you. So there's my answer."

"As predicted. I'm one step ahead of you."

"No you're not."

"Yes, I am."

"No you're not!"

"Uh huh. I know you hate my guts. So I knew you wouldn't like me back, and-"

Byrd quickly leaned in and kissed Agent 9. He shut his eyes tight, while Agent 9's eyes were

wide open. He quickly shot away. "Who's one step ahead now?" Byrd grinned.

"You're crazy. Just go home." "No way! Admit it! You didn't plan that!"

"Of course I didn't plan that! You're so competitive! You knew you wouldn't do that! I even

knew that! But then you had to be one step ahead and... blah!"

"Oh no. It had nothing to do with that. I just like you too much to leave without a good bye

kiss." Byrd fluttered his eyes. "Shut it." Agent 9 snapped. "You shut it," Byrd said in a flirty

tone before pinning Agent 9 down. "Get off." "Nope." Byrd kissed his cheek, down to his

neck. "Ew, stop it!" "Don't ew me." Byrd planted a kiss on Agent 9's lips. Agent 9 tensed up.

He grabbed Byrd's utility belt, pulling it off. "What're you doing, stealing my stuff?"

"No. I'm taking your stuff off for you. Haven't you ever had sex before?"

Sex?! The answer to that was no. Isabella always lead him on, but he was always too hesitant.

But not this time. Something about Agent 9 convinced him to do this. "Uh... Yeah. Totally."

"Shut up, no you haven't. That's okay, I haven't either."

"What about Sheila?"

"We were never together, she hates my guts. Now, take my pants off."

"W-what?"

Agent 9 rolled his eyes. He grabbed Byrd's fin and placed it on his belt. Sgt. Byrd

slowly pulled Agent 9's pants down, revealing his boxers. There appeared to be a knot

in them. Byrd's eyes then widened when he realized that it was his erection.

_Oh my god, is this really happening?!_

Sgt. Byrd took a deep breath. "What's wrong? Never see a dick in your life?"

_Yes. _

Agent 9 placed his arms behind his head. He closed his eyes and sighed. "It's fine. We don't

have to do this if you don't want to." Byrd thought for a second. He then peeled down

Agent 9's boxers. He blushed at the sight of his manhood.

"M-my..."

"So, what's gonna happen? Are you gonna suck me dry?" "In your dreams."

Byrd definatley wasn't doing that. "Works for me. Let's go skateboard instead." Agent 9 sat

up, pulling his pants back up. He then noticed Sgt. Byrd's own erection. He couldn't

help but laugh. "Wow, what a fatty." Byrd then looked down, noticing it himself. He

cried out, covering himself up. "I can't go out there like this!" "I'll take care of it." Agent 9

said as he shoved Byrd up against the cave's wall. He kissed down Byrd's chest, finally getting

to that _one spot_. Sgt. Byrd let out a sigh, sweat rolling down his forehead. His stomach felt

like it was floating, and the end of his fins were tingling in a way.

"Fuck yes..."


End file.
